Jamar, July 2021

Hello, my name is Jamar Glenn, a 40-year-old father, son, sibling, and activist in my community. I would like to take the time to talk about reentry and mental health.

I was incarcerated at 16 years old, and I served an 18½-year sentence for Murder 2. I was 36 years old when I was released from prison – February 2016 – into a whole new world, too advanced for my own good.

Serving a sentence longer than I’d been alive really took a toll on my mental health and development. I never thought I had mental issues; whatever emotions I did have were quickly and deeply buried inside of me because of the prison culture.

I had to uphold an image. Although I wasn’t the biggest guy, I’d allow my attitude/temper to compensate what I lacked in size, which meant trouble across the board. I had over 50 major infractions in this time period.

To be totally honest, I was completely broken by the age of 14. I’ve learned though further study that I was affected by what is now identified as ACEs: Adverse Childhood Experiences. This includes abuse, neglect, parental addiction, mental illness, divorce, and incarceration.

So all the abuse I’d seen and experienced from age 14-36 was still inside me, buried, overlooked, and untreated for 22 years. Why?? Because I didn’t trust the system, their doctors, counselors, correction officers.

I was afraid of their medications and medical holds, which prevented me from transferring to institutions closer to my family. And – most importantly – the trust. Could I really trust my most-personal information and feelings to the people I considered “the police?”

So in 2016, I was released back into the community, physically a 36-year-old man, but mentally a 22-year-old young adult. I looked good, I felt great! But yet I was broken and hurt, wearing a mask to hide what was going on in fear of being labeled “institutionalized” or the “weirdo” who couldn’t cope in society – both of which prevented me from seeing help. I still have mental issues deep inside, and no breathing exercises can help me mentally.

Unfortunately, I’m back in prison, aware of my issues, and I’m attacking them at the root. Through self-preservation, proper reading materials, and the love and support of family and friends, “this too shall pass.”

I honestly believe we need better mental health programs throughout the DOC, and more felon-friendly mental health groups and institutions on the outside. If we can address the ACEs situation in the earlier stages of life, we can prevent mass incarceration of the youth in our communities. Mental health is a serious issue for the formally- and currently-incarcerated man, woman, and child. Incarceration without the proper assistance cripples us.

I hope that me lighting this candle in this dark room shines light and brings awareness to some of the issues we still have to face from the “inside out.”

Peace and love,
Jamar